The Reality of Developing Depression Before You're A Teenager
12:11
Hi, I have depression. I have had depression for slightly over a quarter of my life, and as I get older, that fraction is only going to get bigger. I was diagnosed when I was twelve, I am now 16 (very very soon turning 17). Although people talk about mental health and depression in teenagers, I've heard very little about the reality of having had depression for such a big chunk of your life, and how that affects your ability to decipher being a teenager.
Being depressed is kind of odd, especially when you can't really remember not having it. Your normal becomes something so abstract from what everyone else considers normal, you're often left even more confused/depressed because a good day for you, is just a basic day for everyone else. Learning to recognise that my achievements are very, very different to other people my age was definitely difficult to come to terms with considering I'm a perfectionist. So many of my formative years where others are doing sport, or doing their DofE, or getting different qualifications, I was so depressed I basically became housebound for days on end. There are a good few years where I seem to have conveniently forgotten them, I can remember the gist of things, big events like my aunt's wedding ect, but everything else is just blank. Some days it's all I can do to get out of bed, have a shower, eat breakfast and brush my teeth. Some days not even that, and I have to tell myself, 'It's okay, you'll try again tomorrow, and the next day. You'll get better one day'.
This post was prompted by my therapist and my GP, both of whom have repeatedly told me that 'good enough' is good enough. I mean this applies specifically to me, as I really am a perfectionist (kinda comes with the territory of being an aspie), but I think it's also something that every other teenager that suffered depression, or anxiety, or PTSD, or any other neurological/mental illness before they hit the big one three.
Yes, you will be a little later to things in life. For me, I missed a lot of being a typical teenager and yeah it kinda sucks, but at the same time, I've gained so much through having to deal with other issues. Learning the skills to make myself fit into an NT world while also battling depression has made me resilient, more empathetic and kind. I, and you, will come to everything in our own time, and that's nothing to be ashamed of.
Being depressed is kind of odd, especially when you can't really remember not having it. Your normal becomes something so abstract from what everyone else considers normal, you're often left even more confused/depressed because a good day for you, is just a basic day for everyone else. Learning to recognise that my achievements are very, very different to other people my age was definitely difficult to come to terms with considering I'm a perfectionist. So many of my formative years where others are doing sport, or doing their DofE, or getting different qualifications, I was so depressed I basically became housebound for days on end. There are a good few years where I seem to have conveniently forgotten them, I can remember the gist of things, big events like my aunt's wedding ect, but everything else is just blank. Some days it's all I can do to get out of bed, have a shower, eat breakfast and brush my teeth. Some days not even that, and I have to tell myself, 'It's okay, you'll try again tomorrow, and the next day. You'll get better one day'.
This post was prompted by my therapist and my GP, both of whom have repeatedly told me that 'good enough' is good enough. I mean this applies specifically to me, as I really am a perfectionist (kinda comes with the territory of being an aspie), but I think it's also something that every other teenager that suffered depression, or anxiety, or PTSD, or any other neurological/mental illness before they hit the big one three.
Yes, you will be a little later to things in life. For me, I missed a lot of being a typical teenager and yeah it kinda sucks, but at the same time, I've gained so much through having to deal with other issues. Learning the skills to make myself fit into an NT world while also battling depression has made me resilient, more empathetic and kind. I, and you, will come to everything in our own time, and that's nothing to be ashamed of.
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