What's been going on?

10. It is important to understand your privilege

Now, it took me a long time to fully accept the idea of 'privilege', of any kind really. I thought, 'Well life's been a bit shit so far, I've been bullied, gone through family troubles and tried to overdose, I don't really feel like I have privilege to be honest'. I think a lot of people with different kind of privileges feel like this, like 'hey, I've had a hard time too!', but what I've come to realise is that doesn't matter. Yes, a lot of stuff's gone wrong for me, but undoubtedly I have privilege. My skin colour, my ethnicity, the place I was born and the fact that I am able bodied. Yes I am a women, and I have a disability, but in other ways I am privileged. Admitting that I have privilege does not make my struggles any less of a struggle,  but it does show that in certain situations I will have the upper hand. For example, I'm much more likely to be able to get into the acting or modeling profession than someone who is physically disabled or not white. That doesn't mean that I won't have worked for what I have, it just means that someone else may have had to work harder to get to the exact same place.

11. Loving someone doesn't mean you like them

This one took me a looong time to figure out. A really long time. What I mean by this is that you can love someone unconditionally and would do anything for them, but that doesn't mean you like them. I think this comes into play mostly with family members, say when a child becomes a carer or something along those lines where they resent the family member and dislike them, but still truly deeply love them. It's difficult to explain but one that has helped me.

12. Always do the thing

If you're feeling guilty about not doing it - just do it. Otherwise you'll regret it.

13. Looks are by no means everything, but they are something

Take this one with a pinch of salt, because some people will disagree with this. How you look is your first impression on the world - yes people should look further and deeper, but if they don't all you have is your appearance. Make sure it's something you can be proud of eventually.

14. You do not have to decide your future and life at 16 (even though it feels like it)

Still trying to believe this myself to be quite honest, but that's the English education system. They expect you to act like an adult while treating you like a child.

15. If you do you, eventually people will respect you

I was always, and I mean always, one of the nerdy/not popular/bullied people and I always tried to be cool and fit in and all of that stuff. It never really worked. However, now I'm in sixth form (the last two years of high school for those Americans out there) I've realised that people respect you for being yourself and no one really cares about cliques that much. Obviously this is dependant on where you live, but for the majority of people I know, this is the case for them as well.

16. Kill em with kindness

I don't mean this in the way that parents and teachers say it when people get teased, I mean that honestly there is nothing better than being happier than the person that hurt you. That may sound vindictive, but it's the truth. I used to have a very complicated relationship with a few friends and one turned out to not be very nice, but eventually the joke was on her because instead of retaliating in the same manner she acted I stayed being nice and eventually that won out. It always does.

17. Sleep is good

Always sleep if you can.

Hi, I have depression. I have had depression for slightly over a quarter of my life, and as I get older, that fraction is only going to get bigger. I was diagnosed when I was twelve, I am now 16 (very very soon turning 17). Although people talk about mental health and depression in teenagers, I've heard very little about the reality of having had depression for such a big chunk of your life, and how that affects your ability to decipher being a teenager.



Being depressed is kind of odd, especially when you can't really remember not having it. Your normal becomes something so abstract from what everyone else considers normal, you're often left even more confused/depressed because a good day for you, is just a basic day for everyone else. Learning to recognise that my achievements are very, very different to other people my age was definitely difficult to come to terms with considering I'm a perfectionist. So many of my formative years where others are doing sport, or doing their DofE, or getting different qualifications, I was so depressed I basically became housebound for days on end. There are a good few years where I seem to have conveniently forgotten them, I can remember the gist of things, big events like my aunt's wedding ect, but everything else is just blank. Some days it's all I can do to get out of bed, have a shower, eat breakfast and brush my teeth. Some days not even that, and I have to tell myself, 'It's okay, you'll try again tomorrow, and the next day. You'll get better one day'.



This post was prompted by my therapist and my GP, both of whom have repeatedly told me that 'good enough' is good enough. I mean this applies specifically to me, as I really am a perfectionist (kinda comes with the territory of being an aspie), but I think it's also something that every other teenager that suffered depression, or anxiety, or PTSD, or any other neurological/mental illness before they hit the big one three.

Yes, you will be a little later to things in life. For me, I missed a lot of being a typical teenager and yeah it kinda sucks, but at the same time, I've gained so much through having to deal with other issues. Learning the skills to make myself fit into an NT world while also battling depression has made me resilient, more empathetic and kind. I, and you, will come to everything in our own time, and that's nothing to be ashamed of.

Onto possible my favourite on this list. Harry Styles. Pop superstar and newly budding actor, he is worlds away from where he was in 2010. I like to think is his style transformation kind of like a caterpillar. Started of cute and small, and then transformed into a beautifully colour flamboyant butterfly. Okay, so maybe that's another bit of romanticising, but if you read my post about guilty pleasures, you'll know that I quite like 1D so it's natural I'd like them to be themselves right? Seeing the change in not only the clothes (I'll get onto that in a minute) but stage presences is so fun, during the last tour he was dancing round and acting like a mini-rock star, very empowering. Why? Because in a time where gender boundaries are being challenge and at the same time others are fighting hard to keep them, having someone in the public eye and as well know as Harry Styles is like opening the eyes of so many people. If a fan of One Direction (who are normally teenagers) see's a man experimenting with flamboyant actions, colourful and feminine clothes and working long hair (R.I.P), it sends the message that it is 100% okay to express yourself any way you want, it doesn't matter what gender you are, you can do whatever. I think that's pretty awesome.

Also can we just appreciate his collection of boots.




Hope you enjoyed this post, I loved making it! I'm thinking of maybe doing a fashion post based on some of their styles, what do you think? 

Like many other people my age i'm contemplating a gap year. While most of the places listed in this post are distant dreams that are far out of my budget, I would like to hopefully visit at least one of these beautiful countries and towns. So here are my top 12 places I NEED to visit!

1. Groningen - Netherlands